Sunday, December 23, 2007

The Funny Folder

Just for fun I was going through my folder in my inbox where I keep everything funny that people send me. Here are some jokes I thought were pretty good.

"Always keep several get well cards on the mantle - if unexpected guests arrive, they'll think you've been sick and unable to clean."




A man is in bed asleep with his wife when there is a rat-a-tat-tat onthe door. He rolls over and looks at his clock, and it's half pastthree in the morning. "I'm not getting out of bed at this time", hethinks, and rolls over. Then, a louder knock follows. "Aren't yougoing to answer that?" says his wife. So he drags himself out ofbed, and goes downstairs. He opens the door and there is manstanding at the door. It didn't take the homeowner long to realizethe man was drunk."Hi there." slurs the stranger, "Can you give me a push??""No, get lost. It's half past three. I was in bed," says the man andslams the door.He goes back up to bed and tells his wife what happened and she says"Dave, that wasn't very nice of you. Remember that night we brokedown on the pouring rain on the way to pick the kids up from thebaby-sitter and you had to knock on that man's house to get usstarted again? What would have happened if he'd told us to get lost?""But the guy was drunk," says the husband."It doesn't matter." says the wife. "He needs our help. The rightthing to do would be to help him."So the husband gets out of bed again, dresses, and goes downstairs.He opens the door, and not being able to see the stranger anywhere heshouts: "Hey, do you still want a push??" He hears a voice cry out,"Yeah, please."So, still being unable to see the stranger he shouts: "Where are you?"And the stranger replies: "I'm over here, on your swing."




My wife and I, both graduate students, recently celebrated the arrival of our first child. At my wife's insistence, we had paid our entire medical bill and were now worried about meeting other payments. We were discussing our sad financial situation one evening when our son demanded a diaper change. As my wife leaned over the baby's crib, I heard her mutter, "The only thing in the house that's paid for, and it leaks."

Thursday, December 20, 2007

Link by link or drop by drop?

God bless us, everyone.

(I just finished watching the Christmas Carol with George C. Scott.)

This year has been a year of all kinds of emotions. I've found deep joy in my professional life, and also my home life. Yet it has been one of the most challenging years as well.

I've gotten to travel a lot, and that is fullfilling to me. In May we took a giant graduation trip to California and hit a few National Parks on the way back. We went to the beach, Disneyland, Mohave National Preserve, Grand Canyon, (camped in the middle of nowhere near Jacob Lake), Zion National Park, (camped in the middle of nowhere near Bryce National Park), and Bryce. For my project I've been throughout Arches. When my project changed to Canyonlands I explored a large part of the Needles District (while pretty pregnant).

The hardest part of having a baby is the reduced mobility. I feel an invisible leash of guilt whenever I go anywhere for long.

My family has done very well. My hubby continues to find more and more ways of making himself feel secure of his ability to support us. He excels in school and ultimate frisby and is even getting pretty good at the stock trade. Liz has learned a lot from her daddy. She just learned to blow spit bubbles.

Liz has grown (as expected) in two months. She talks to us in her two syllable language and is starting to get enough muscle in her neck to hold it up by herself.

So, even though this blog isn't suppposed to be a newsletter, I thought I would put some year's end summary for those who really don't have much else to do. Have a positive, bright, wonderous, killer Christmas (killer?). Oh, and enjoy your egg nog.

Thursday, November 29, 2007

Scottsman

"Mommy's been eating ice cream!"


"You are getting sleepy... very sleepy."

"Show me the true-blooded Aggie from Utah. Who doesn't love the place... where the Sagebrush Grows!!"



Ahhh... the Aggie fight song. I don't know our school song, but I know our fight song. Mostly because we get to milk the cow. I sang that one to Liz tonight and she smiled pretty big. She thought her mommy had gone nutters. (Not that she hadn't had that thought on previous occasions.) Other songs she enjoys are The Bunny Hop, The Chicken Dance, YMCA and The Stargate Theme Song. She likes to dance what can I say.

Tuesday, November 27, 2007

Some thoughts

We got snow. I'm actually thrilled because I hate cold weather that doesn't do anything. I don't mind it when there is moisture because there is a purpose to it being cold.

I ran today! It was so wonderful. It was only a mile, but it felt heavenly. On the second to last lap I felt a good feeling, like I was back with an old friend. I was slow, but that's to be expected. But I ran.

Third thought. Watch Mr. Magorium's Wonder Emporium. It is a beautifully put together movie.

Wednesday, November 14, 2007

Happy GIS day!

To celebrate GIS day and all things Geographic Information Systems, I'm putting up this lovely remotely sensed imagery of my house. Yup, you guessed which one it is. (Courtesy of Mapquest and Paintshop)

Picture time!

I'm Popeye, the sailor!

I want to eat the camera!



They won't let me eat the camera!


A picture of my hubby. Awesome Ultimate Frisbee Player. No, I will not post a picture of his face on the World Wide Web. Sheesh.




I had to post my husband's wonderful birthday cake. He he. This is as much work as I put into it. (We did top it with some frozen berries though.)





END





Wednesday, November 07, 2007

Parenting workshop

My significant other and I went to a parenting seminar the other day. We learned about discipline and communication in two seperate workshops and then attended a Q & A session with a panel of behavior "experts". (A professor, two master students, and a dad) The best thing I learned was in the communication workshop. We talked about discussing your "Happy" and your "Challenge" at the end of the day. We did it with our partners at the workshop and it made me realize how much I needed to really listen when I ask Josh about his day. Sometimes I just say it just because, but I really need be an active listener.


Marathon Update. I was able to alternate between a walk and a jog and am now regularly walking up "the hill" every day at least once.

Saturday, October 27, 2007

Marathon training days two and three

Day two: I got my walking in while wandering around the library and Lee's Marketplace. Yup, I walked for ten minutes.

Day three: I walked with Liz for about 15 minutes. She slept while I walked.

Up for tomorrow: Another day of rest. (Sundays are my rest days of course.)

Here's my advice for anyone just starting to run.

Don't start out running. Start out walking. The first week get up to 30 min. walking, the second, run for five minutes and walk for 25. The third week, run 10 minutes and walk 20, and so on until you can run for 30 minutes. This is usually around a 5 k time for a beginning runner. (It's ok if you take longer.) If you get sore or feel any pain, stop running and walk. Always have a day of rest, but don't take more than two days off, or you will lose what you've gained.
Always warm up a bit before you stretch and stretch afterwards. You can look up good stretches online if you don't know very many.
Do some research. There are a myriad of websites out there dedicated to running. Here is one of them http://www.marathontraining.com/marathon/m_start.html. If you sift through all of the advice out there you can find something useful.
Don't forget the right equipment. If you go running, you have to wear the right shoes or you'll be in for some hurting. Try to go to a running store and they will fit the shoe for your foot type. There's a good store in Sandy that I want to go to around Thanksgiving. (Running shoes usually aren't very cheap, but they do help you run.) Oh, and ladies, your bras need to fit right too. http://www.runnersworld.com/bratool/ I found a good nursing sports bra at a maternity store. It's very comfy and easier to use than the normal ones.
Nutrition. I could go off on this, but the most important thing is water. Drink it instead of soda. There are dozens of reasons, but one of them is to avoid any stomach discomfort. Also, keep away from sports beverages unless you are planning on running for an hour or more.
Running takes time. When I was running before I had my baby it would take just over an hour a day to warm up, stretch, run, cool down, stretch, and shower. That doesn't include travel time if I wanted to go somewhere else to run.
You may get bored... There is also a large mental component to running. You aren't constantly competing with someone else, it is just you and the same stride. It can get tedious. Some fend off boredom with ipods or a running partner. The hours it takes for a marathon can be the biggest obstacle for a runner and not the distance.
How far have you gone? www.mapmyrun.com uses satellite imagery that you can draw your route on. You can plan runs or just run them and come here to see how far you've gone. It beats using a pedometer everytime.


There are lots of other things I could talk about, cross training, weight training, speed workouts, form, working up to a race, etc, but I probably should quit now.

Thursday, October 25, 2007

MARATHON MADNESS!

Call me crazy, but I'm going to run a marathon. It's been on my mind lately, and I can't get the notion out of the little folds of grey matter.

So, as of today, I am in training. I'll use this blog to record my progress.

Today's Training: Rest
Tomorrow's Training: Walk 10 min.


(You have to start out slow with these sorts of things.)

Thanks for all the fish

I have been called a closet nerd before. During the time I worked at a National Guard Training facility, we had a self proclaimed nerd who would always say "roger roger". You know... like those droids on Star Wars I... Well anyway, I was the only one who got it and would laugh at him when he used it with military guys.

But I digress. In between watching videos of Michael Buble sing Spiderman and Lyra kick it with an armored polar bear, I watch clips from the television show Stargate. Since I don't have cable or satellite, I don't have the Sci-Fi channel, which really is a good thing in my case, so, I've been catching up on what has been happening in the last three years. Well, I've discovered that the writers are on a killing-off-the-main-characters spree. I just watched part of an episode where they killed off one of my favorite main characters. Don't you hate it when that happens? Anyway, now I kind of don't want to watch it for a while so I have to find something else to get my nerdy kick. Any ideas?

(By the way, the title of this post also deals with something nerdy, so if you don't get it you're cleared from the nerd list.)

Wednesday, October 17, 2007

Appropriate quotes


Rowlf: You can't live with 'em, you can't live without 'em.There's somethin' irresistabullish about 'em.We grin and bear it 'cause the nights are long.I hope that somethin' better comes along.

Kermit: (spoken): Yeah, I know what you mean...

Kermit: It's no good complainin' and pointless to holler.

Rowlf: If she's a beauty she'll get under your collar.

Kermit: She made a monkey out of old King Kong,

Both: I hope that somethin' better comes along.

The Great Gonzo: It just feels so weird.

Rizzo the Rat: You mean that Mr. Aeral's dead?

The Great Gonzo: Yeah, that and my pants are filled with starfish.

Rizzo the Rat: You and your hobbies.


Pete: Is peoples, is dancing, is music, is potatoes. So peoples is peoples. Okay?


Elizabeth Marie (Oct. 9, 2007)

Friday, October 05, 2007

The Fifth

You may be confused by the title of my blog, and I don't blame you... but I'm not going to explain because there isn't anything to explain.

Happy Fifth of October!


P.S. (To Lesley's comment on Modesty) Lesley, that is too funny. My shirt pops up everytime I get out of my car. Waiting for the baby to come is like the first uphill climb on a roller coaster. It's one of the hardest times because the thrill hasn't begun, yet it's the calmest part of the ride.

Thursday, October 04, 2007

Modesty

I had a talk with the baby about modesty the other day. She responded by kicking me even more so my belly popped out from under my shirt.

In other words, my clothes don't fit anymore. Even my maternity ones. Pants fall down and shirts come up. Dresses can't go over the wiggly lump.

On a happier note, I went to a visiting teaching workshop last night and we played Visiting Teaching Jeopardy. One easy question was put to the other team, "Who do you represent when you go visiting teaching?" (Jesus is the answer.) I turned to my friend who was sitting next to me and said, "Well, it's not the IRS". Unfortunately, I was the only one talking at the time and everyone heard me. Har har har. I was red in the face. Big mouth.

Monday, October 01, 2007

Happy Vegetarian's Day!

Today is the day where we celebrate all things vegetarian. I'm not one myself, but I try to keep my food in the shape of a pyramid rather than a tower. I think I'll celebrate by making something with tofu.

For those who hate vegetarians, there was a bumpersticker I saw the other day that said, "Save a cow, eat a vegetarian."


Little known facts about Vegetarian Day and Vegetarians.

1. It is Captain Vegetable's favorite day.

2. It is today.

3. 45% of vegetarians eat vegetables. (So does the other 55%.)

4. Many vegans are fooled when first introduced to eggplant.

5. Today Only. You too can become a vegetarian for a low price of $19.99.

6. Vegetarian Day was started by the cattle industry as a joke.

7. Vegetarian Day was started by vegetarians as a joke.

8. MSG, a popular ingredient in recipes was thought to cause vegetarianism in Asian people.

9. Vegetables, are really fruit with all of the sugar taken out.

10. Hummus and humus are really the same thing. You can spread both on a cracker and a garden with the same results.

Saturday, September 29, 2007

Baby Update

So, I was a little worried two nights ago because it seemed that my baby wasn't moving around enough, so the next morning (yesterday) I counted movements during my class. (I was bored anyway.) In fifty minutes, she had over fifty distinct and seperate movements. That doesn't include the movements that I wasn't sure if they were distinct enough or not. For me that was a lot of movement. I was sure the girl sitting behind me would say something because my belly looked like a monkey in a bag.

I shouldn't have worried.

Friday, September 28, 2007

Mission Impossible

So, I'm doing a project in Canyonlands. This is Canyonlands. Yey! I get to try and predict what kind of soil is where. The problem is going and verifying my findings.

How would you like to try and get from point A to point B in this kind of country?

I thought of hangliding, but if anyone invents a transporter I would like to borrow it.

At least I don't really have to worry about it. There's a survey crew digging my holes for me. (At least for the time being.)

Tuesday, September 25, 2007

Toilet matters

My hubby is now a certified PERC tester for the state of Utah. (Yes, I'm so proud.) This means he can help people design and build onsite wastewater systems. In otherwords he can officially help people in rural areas get rid of their crap. (I'm so proud.) I keep telling myself that it's just something he's going to do while finishing school while my mind keeps going back to laundry issues...

On another similar note, anyone know how to decrease the water use of your toilet? I've heard of putting a brick or rock in there to displace water. What will that do? I just have been using it (le toilete) a lot lately, and wondered.

Monday, September 24, 2007

Tagging

Shorter version of the tagging which I mercilessly received from Amelia (my sister).

1. What is your occupation? currently I'm procrastinating and writing in my blog.
3. What are you listening to right now? Streaming Soundtracks.com (music has been from starwars, casper, and some other movies called "Frontiers" and "The Secret Agent")
8. Last person you spoke to on the phone? Some guy asking about the voucher issue... ?
9. Favorite T.V. shows? Avatar: Last of the Airbenders. I know it's a kids show, but it makes me laugh.
11. Favorite drink? Logan city water (or occasionally grapefruit juice or buttermilk)
12. Favorite sport to watch? none, I only play unless my arm is twisted.
13. Have you ever dyed your hair? Not in the traditional sense. The sun has made me blondish before.
17. Favorite food? Stuff I don't have to plan and make.
20. What do you do to vent anger? Wonder why I'm angry and how I can stop myself from letting it control my actions. Usually I cry.
21. What was your favorite toy as a child? Legos
27. What did you do last night? We met our neighbors
28. What are you afraid of? My own mistakes. (esp. hurting family members and not knowing it because they don't tell me.)29. What bugs you? See above and below.
31. Favorite car? Mini (Not the US one which is larger) or VW Bugs

Friday, September 14, 2007

Legos!


Legos

Did you know that some libraries have computer games you can borrow! Yeah, I was happy about that. Go taxpayers! I borrowed a cool game called Lego Starwars. You play little Lego Starwars characters and instead of killing bad guys, you make them fall apart. You collect lego pieces along the way during the game too so that you can buy cool things at the end of the level. Anyway, you can play with a friend (who can drop in and out of the game playing at any time), and my husband and I have been playing. It's great fun. Highly recommended for anyone who wants a fun, cute, and non-annoying game. Good for all ages since anyone can learn to play.

Thursday, September 06, 2007

What I will miss...

10 bad habits I'll have to give up when baby comes...

1. Licking the ice cream/yogurt bowl when I'm done. It is one of those polite things I guess.

2. Leaving stuff on the floor. Baby will put that stuff in her mouth.

3. Sleeping in. This will be forced upon me.

4. Not getting dressed until I really have to in the mornings. (Need to set an example.)

5. Keeping the house a freezing temperature in the winter. What can I say, I like the cold.

6. Going on extremely long walks by myself. I'll have to cut them shorter because of baby.

7. Ignoring the trash can.

8. My record holding burp contests with my husband. He never burps because he thinks it is gross, so I always win. Isn't that a switch-a-roo? I'm already saying "excuse me" because baby needs to learn it isn't polite. Sigh. There goes my only talent.

9. Counting how many things I'll put on a list before I say how many there will be.

10...

I'm Not Gonna Die! Comeon People!

Ok. So if you haven't guessed it yet, I'm about eight months pregnant. I've been doing Hypnobirthing (Mongan Method) classes and am confident in the methods.

However, I got the feeling at my doc's appointment yesterday that she's skeptical. She hasn't watched the videos of the women who were actually using the techniques and she hasn't ever had a patient use them yet. Anyway, I think doctors really try to scare you into spending tons of money for no real good reason. I'm healthy, the baby's healthy. We are going to be fine.

Which leads me to my dream. I dreamt I was surrounded by people who had negative views of my birth in one way or another. There was my doctor talking about pain and blood. My parents rolling their eyes at each other as if to say, "whatever". Other family members talking about how much they needed the meds and how it was so awful. It was like everyone around me was trying to dictate what was going to happen to my baby and I.

Suddenly, I felt someone in my arms and I knew it was my baby. I felt her tiny hands on my skin, reassuring me that all was well. I didn't look down. I knew my imagination couldn't picture her face good enough. I stood before all of these people who I respected, but at that time resented. I faced them and told them that my baby and I had decided our birth was going to be peaceful, like the night Christ was born. We were going to use the techniques from the class, they were going to work, and everyone else could keep their opinion to themselves until after the labor. I felt empowered. I left all of those people behind and at last felt like I was calm and peaceful.

I'm not vulnerable. Nor am I weak. The baby is healthy. I'm not sick. I'm not feeling terrible. I've had a positive outlook on everything and it has made all of the difference. So please, stop being so negative around me! It just ruins the experience.

(Venting complete)

Tuesday, September 04, 2007

Sheets

I overheated last night and almost threw up. Luckily, I didn't have school today because I needed the recovery time. I spent last night cooling off and trying to get some sleep. I filled my tub partway and sat in the water half asleep wondering if it would ever cool off this summer.

Finally, around 6:00 today the clouds literally burst. It was a light show as well as a downpour. The clouds were battlling like charioteers in Roman times, throwing their shafts of light like arrows. (Poetic eh) The wind blew the water until you couldn't really see individual droplets. My neighbors and I stood under our eaves watching the rain. It was so beautiful I almost cried. We finally had some rain.

Well, my hubby was playing ultimate frisbee in the rain. He came home with grass stuck to his face. I don't even want to look at his socks. I guess he had fun though.

Friday, August 31, 2007

Muggy

I've been praying for snow all summer.

Apparently all of you haven't been...

Monday, August 20, 2007

I need a picture


Here's a picture. I'm the one who is cozy on the chair. Two points to whoever can guess what people are doing in a hole in the ground.

BYORB

Party! It's my birthday! (Sorry, I don't allow alcoholic beverages near my person. You'll have to bring root beer... and pizza while you're at it.)

Implosion Therapy

So, two summers ago I worked at a military training camp as a field technician. As a civilian, I was privileged to see a lot of what goes on behind the scenes of a training camp. I guess some of the guys were bored and offered to take me and the others on my crew rappelling on their tower. Because my fear of heights had been progressively getting worse, I didn't want to participate, but I offered to take pictures of the crew.

Apparently, military people think that everyone should like what they like. They coerced me into climbing the tower and donning their gear. I had a panic attack right there, but somehow didn't go back down the tower. I was probably too embarrassed.

After a very long time up on top of the tower, my body relaxed. My fear came under control enough that I was able to go down the freefall section of the tower. (It's actually the easier side.)

Well, two years later, I came across an explanation for my behavior. I found out why I could overcome this extreme fear and go down even though I was panicking earlier. There's a book called "Worry: Controlling it and Using it Wisely" by Dr. Edward M. Hallowell. It's kind of an older book (in the medical community, things become old fast), however, it has some good stories and explanations for things. Well, I was reading a section on panic and discovered this, "[It is a] biological fact that the body cannot maintain a state of peak anxiety much longer than ninety minutes, after which it runs out of the chemicals it needs to put itself on red alert. Therefore, the high anxiety has to pass, if you can endure it long enough." So, the military guys must have known that they just had to keep me up there long enough before I would rappel down. So, beware the military. They know the mind too well.

Friday, August 17, 2007

Find a sumthin'

I'm a little tired of reading misspelled words, yet the title today is misspelled. What is wrong with me? I guess it's just a reaction to my dream last night. (It involved apes performing "Phantom of the Opera". Creepy.)

So, I'm trying to find a good picture to post that will tickle your fancy. Or mine. Right now it's 4:15 and I'm sitting in the Orem library using my good ole' lappy. I have a mexican jumping bean (a.k.a. egenmay jr. bacon cheeseburger) in my abdomen who is just excited that I'm not running around myself. Besides, she can't wait until we practice our self-hypnosis again. (Hypnobirth. I'll probably talk about it more. In the meantime enjoy this website http://science.howstuffworks.com/hypnosis1.htm. It will give you proof that I'm not making anything up.)

END

Friday, August 10, 2007

Good Morning

So, the picture below is of a tiger... or some tigers. Tell me how many tigers you can find.

"The wonderful thing about tiggers is IIII'm the only one!"

Hidden Tiger


Wednesday, August 08, 2007

Riddles

What's mightier than God and more evil than the Devil? The poor have it. The rich need it. If you eat it, you will eventually die.









I'm not even going to post an answer. Ha ha ha!












(Come on, what's mightier than God?)

Riddles

Here's a good riddle for y'all.

David’s father has three sons, Snap, Crackle, and…?




(drumroll please)








You know you wanted to say Pop didn't you. Well if you did you're WRONG! The third son's name would be David of course!

Happy Vader


It's still here!

Hey Nobody!

I'm writing in my blog that I completely forgot I even had. Hey, I even forgot how to get to it until I got really bored and looked into my notepad on my Yahoo account. (Just because Google owns this site doesn't mean they own me!) Viva revolsion...

Um...

So today I learned about how to not carry a monkey into the U.S. Do not stuff him in your hat. He will eventually give himself away by grabbing your irresistable ponytail.

Ok, so after a year or more Amastrade isn't closer to being done. I think I need to work on it. I mean, Sheesh, I have a laptop now! I could use it! Golly. What am I being bored about...

What was I saying?

Oh yeah, monkeys and beavers are tricky. You never know when they're around. I feel sorry for that grandma who didn't know that and got attacked by the beaver. Silly grandma. You should have listened to your kids.

I love the internet.